Hello, New Year:
It is almost 2024! Usually, the start of a new year comes with the anticipation of fresh beginnings and lofty aspirations. However, for those of us grappling with chronic illness, the path forward often feels uncertain and challenging. Last December and January, I was really sick and in and out of hospital. I spent New Year’s Eve sitting on the bathroom floor throwing up all evening. While I still managed to achieve some goals in 2023, but most of them were due to the work I put in in 2022. I didn’t have the time, energy, or health to sit down, plan, and write out my goals as I normally do.
While I am in a much better position this year, I am still very clearly dealing with my illness and disability. As such, my goals are going to look very different this year. So, how do you actually set goals when you have a chronic illness? How do you plan for the future when there are so many unknowns?
The Impact of Chronic Illness:
Firstly, it’s important to recognize that being diagnosed with a chronic illness can drastically alter the course of your life. Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it. A chronic illness diagnosis is like being handed one of these curveballs, and suddenly, everything is in question. Last year, I was so focused on purely surviving. I had to learn all about just living with my illness and a feeding tube. I didn’t have much time for reflection while I was so deeply in it.
Sometimes I look back and wish I had done more when I was healthier, which doesn’t really make sense as I was already doing so much. I traveled a lot, ate a lot, did sports, etc. But what I would give to just have one more bowl of fettuccini alfredo…
Personal Reflection:
Over the last few weeks, I’ve done a lot of reflecting on my life and how my illness can change that. Will I be able to live on my own? Will I be able to get married and have children? Can I travel or move abroad? Questions about independence, relationships, family planning, and even the ability to pursue my passions often come up for me. The most difficult part is not knowing how long I will need a feeding tube for – and it could be forever. So it’s very difficult to make future plans when you don’t know what your health will be like. While this is true for everyone, it’s never something I considered while I was healthy. Setting goals with chronic illness is challenging.
For now, there are things I absolutely cannot do. For example, I can’t travel somewhere without running water or electricity. While this may not be a huge deal for most people, travel is a huge part of my life and job – so it does limit me personally and professionally. I also live in Canada – I can no longer go camping or to some cottages. Further, I can’t wear a wedding dress without having to make serious alterations. I can’t get pregnant without posing a serious risk to my health. While I’m not doing any of those soon, I would like to start planning for it. While it’s possible that this will change in the future, it’s difficult to plan for things that may or may not be possible.
Achievements With Chronic Illness:
Being diagnosed with a chronic illness requires the process of coming to terms with new limitations and redefining what success looks like. The journey of accepting and adapting to these curveballs requires strength and resilience. So setting goals with chronic illness may look a bit different than usual.
Navigating life with a chronic illness often means facing tough choices and the harsh reality of prioritizing among the myriad of goals we once envisioned. It’s a hard pill to swallow, having to decide between all of the things we want to accomplish, especially when there’s an underlying guilt about not achieving what we could have in healthier times.
I’m staying off social media this time of year, because all it is are peoples’ highlight reels, showcasing big wins, best moments, and dreams for the future. However, you can’t compare yourself to others. You have your own timeline to follow. While I understand this, it can be difficult to believe it. So I’m going to avoid looking at those photos at all. Instead, I’m going to remember that if your most significant accomplishment of the year was simply surviving, that’s more than enough. Joy and pain can coexist, and it’s okay if your journey looks different from the polished narratives often shared online.
New Year’s can be overwhelming, particularly for those with illnesses, as the pressure to set and achieve monumental goals may lead to demoralizing setbacks. In reality, progress, even in the smallest steps, is an achievement worth celebrating, and surviving is a victory in itself. Setting goals with chronic illness needs a bit more planning and compassion.
Setting Realistic Goals for the New Year:
Trying to set realistic goals involves acknowledging my current limitations and understanding that some aspirations may need to be temporarily set aside. This year, my primary focus is on health-related goals, including physical well-being and mental resilience.
While normally I would have tons of goals in all areas of my life, I’m not doing that this year. It’s just not sustainable for me. I’m going to put my other ambitions on hold. It doesn’t mean I won’t work toward them, but they will be taking a back seat in 2024. This includes career progression and financial goals. While I would love to set out some blogging goals, I think at this point I need to just keep it as a fun hobby rather than prioritize it as something I have to do. I would like to connect with other people who live with chronic illnesses and disabilities, and I believe my blog is one way of doing that. I think this type of peer support and community can be incredibly important.
I’m also open to the idea that my goals may change. In six months, I may be in a better position to incorporate more goals into my life.
My 2024 Goals:
Even though there are always a million things I want to do, my primary goal for 2024 is to prioritize my health and self-care. I will be focusing on rest and recovery. For me personally, this means a dedicated focus on exercise and yoga, ensuring adequate sleep, maintaining a balanced nutrition plan, staying hydrated, adhering to my medication regimen, and allowing myself the necessary rest. I’m going to set realistic health goals. I also want to focus on rebuilding my confidence, as I feel that I lost a lot due to my illness. These are my key personal goals – emphasizing the importance of self-compassion.
As usual, I will be setting SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. These goals are centered around my health and well-being, providing a roadmap for progress without overwhelming myself. No huge pressure here. And if I need to let some things slide, that’s okay too.
1. Physical Well-Being:
This year, I’m focusing on my physical well-being. I want to prioritize exercise and getting at least 150 minutes of movement in per week. My plan is to do this primarily through walking, yoga, and building muscle. I wasn’t allowed to exercise for most of last year, so I’m looking for activities that bring movement without pushing too hard. I’ve made a Pinterest board of gentle exercises that I can follow.
I also plan on really focusing on what I eat and drink, to ensure the few bites I can have are nutritious and healthy, and that I stay hydrated. I am slowly trying to build up my tolerance to the point where I may no longer need the feeding tube. For now, I am still very far from that goal.
2. Mental Resilience:
Alongside physical goals, mental resilience is taking center stage this year. I plan on practicing mindfulness through meditation and keeping a gratitude log. Additionally, I plan on journaling on a more regular basis. I journaled every day for the first six months of 2023, but haven’t been doing it as often now that I am working on my blog.
3. Rebuilding Confidence:
Rebuilding confidence is a goal close to my heart. Chronic illness can shake the very core of one’s self-esteem, and this year, I’m dedicating time and energy to rediscovering what makes me feel strong and capable. I think exercising, keeping a gratitude journal, and working on my blog will all help with this. But I also plan on undertaking new activities, exploring my new city, and working on accepting my new limitations.
4. Career Ambitions and Financial Goals:
While career progression and financial goals may be common New Year’s goals, I’ve chosen to put these on hold. It’s a personal decision, recognizing that my health is the foundation upon which other ambitions can be built. This doesn’t mean abandoning career aspirations; it’s about being strategic and recognizing the right time for pursuit. I also can’t really make further career plans right now, because I don’t know what my future health will be. It sucks, but that’s the reality for me this year. I’m really hoping that a year from now I will have a much better sense of my capabilities.
Tips for Setting New Year’s Resolutions:
- Start Small: It is so much easier to make small changes than drastic ones. When you try to incorporate many large changes at once, you risk a higher rate of failure as you won’t be able to focus on any of them enough to maintain a habit. Smaller goals are easier to achieve and can still provide huge benefits. Dealing with chronic illness can already be extremely overwhelming, so don’t make it harder on yourself by overwhelming yourself with big changes.
- Strive for Progress, Not Perfection: There will be days you can’t work on your goals, and that’s ok! For me, I plan on scheduling a lot of rest days, giving myself a break, and going easy on myself. Some days I’ll be able to do a full workout, some days I’ll be able to do a 5-minute yoga video, and some days I’ll only be able to lie on my couch. And that’s ok.
- Recognize your Limits: I think this is the hardest part. If you don’t recognize your limits and push yourself too hard, you have a high chance of crashing and burning. You might make your illness worse or trigger a flare, especially if you become stressed or anxious about achieving your goals. If you become exhausted or are in too much pain, you may not be able to accomplish your other priorities, like going to school, working, or caring for children. So, it’s critical to be honest with yourself about your time, energy, and health limitations.
- Recognize that You Can Quit: Something no one ever told me was that it’s ok to change your goals, it’s ok to change your mind, and it’s ok to quit. If it turns out that your goals are too aspirational right now, change them! Make them smaller. Or literally, just stop. You can always take a break and re-evaluate what’s feasible in a few months. Give yourself permission to change or quit goals and not feel bad. You should not feel shame or guilt for having to pivot to something else, regardless of whether you have a chronic illness or not. Resolutions and priorities can change. You can also just *not* set any resolutions. While I think there is a lot of pressure to do so, many people just don’t do this. If it’s causing you stress or you feel there is too much pressure, it’s ok to say no and not strive toward anything more than taking care of yourself as much as possible.
Conclusion:
Setting realistic goals with a chronic illness involves embracing change, prioritizing self-care, and adapting expectations to new realities. It’s a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and self-compassion, and for me, it’s a journey of putting my health first. As the new year unfolds, I will be focusing on what matters most to me, my well-being, my personal goals, and the joy that can coexist with the challenges of chronic illness. The victories might seem small to some – a gentle yoga session, a night of deep sleep, or just giving myself a break. Surviving isn’t just an accomplishment; it’s a badge of honor. Progress isn’t always a straight line, and setbacks are part of the journey.
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